I Can't Get You Outta My Head

I am still in absolute awe that Ryan and I are so in tune with each other. It really is somewhat scary at times. We say the same thing at the same time on the same subject. He knows when my mood changes before I do. He knows what's on my mind without me having to mutter a word.

I have never had this connection before. It's funny, we will be completely silent and then blurt out something completely random at the same time. I always joke and tell him to get out of my head. But really? It is the most amazing thing I have ever felt. We can be sitting there together on a couch or in a restaurant and having some of the most intense conversations without saying a word. Or, we could be talking about some of the most trivial things...the weather, actors, movies, and still be having a very deep and emotional conversation. We don't even have to look at each other.

I think I know that this is what true love is supposed to be like. But, like every human being on the planet and beyond, I still have doubts. I thought before that I found true love. What's to say that this isn't either? It feels like it in every fiber of my being, but after my most recent failed relationship, I really don't trust my own judgment sometimes.

Every day I'm trusting Ryan more and more. Every day I'm trusting myself more and more. Every day I'm trusting our relationship more and more. I'm believing in promises again, and even starting to look ahead into the near future. Something I haven't done in a very long time.

You know what's even more amazing, Ryan and I have been together for 4 months now, and have spent only ~20 days of that together. We are like this with that little physical interaction.

I have gone through quite a bit this past week. I worked myself to death. When I wasn't working, car dealers were trying to screw me. Long story short, trading down my Prius (no, not because of the recalls). A few dealers gave me the run around. I finally found out that the main reason I couldn't get financed is because I'm still technically married and have a lot of joint debt. I couldn't prove that I wasn't responsible for ~90% of it because my ex husband hasn't filed for divorce yet. Therefore, there is no court order. Through creativity with my family, I did get another car. The hard part was I really wanted Ryan to be here with me to do it. But I needed to do it now. First of all, I am an incredibly impatient person (Miss Impatient Pants is Ryan's new nick for me). Second, if I got rid of the Prius and got a new loan in the right timing, I wouldn't have a car payment this month, which would allow me to catch up on some bills.

All in all, it worked out in the end and I have a decent car. I just wish Ryan would have been here to keep these stupid leacher dealers from trying to swindle me.

I love Ryan so much.