My friend is in trouble. My boyfriend needs attention. I try to satisfy both by talking with them both at the same time.
I have known said friend since I was a senior in high school. We have gone through so much. In this time that he needs, I have to be there for him. He has been there for me in every trial I've had since I've met him. And they were many.
Trying to balance the two is wearing on my soul. But the most odd thing is I'm not angry about Ryan getting jealous. To be honest, I'm more at peace tonight than I have been in a long time. I am highly confused because I should be in turmoil.
I think right now, tonight, everything is going out to my friend. I can't help it. I can't change it. 8 years versus 2 months. I have to be there for my friend.
I don't know what else I can do. There really is nothing I can do.
This really may be the end. The hardest part is there is nothing to do to change it.
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this is bs every bit of it i wasnt jealous i was hurt, how yould any of you like to be talked around and about by the one you love?
ReplyDeletei was in the room and the only other person for over an hr that seemed to notice was said friend. Heather either didnt or was perpously leading conversations away from anything i might have some input or knowledge of. in that respect im actually thinking the later.
I have been in alot of relationsips where i give everything i have emotionally and in every other way to be used up and swept away. is it happening again?